


Life with the O’Neills

by sg_wonderland



Series: Meet the O'Neills [3]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 12:06:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7573438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sg_wonderland/pseuds/sg_wonderland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The conclusion of “The O’Neills” saga</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life with the O’Neills

**Author's Note:**

> Although I can’t see Margaret ever coming to accept Daniel totally, I think she is human enough to realize there are some things in life we simply cannot change.  
> Karma, according to Encarta, is the Hindu and Buddhist belief that the quality of people’s current lives is determined by their behavior in this and past lives.

I can’t really say what clued me in that something was wrong. I suppose the first clue was that two whole weeks have passed since Jack has called. That in itself isn’t that unusual, or it wouldn’t have been at one time. 

 

But, loath as I am to admit it, since Daniel became a vital part of my son’s life, he has been much more diligent about calling his mother. Finally, I took the matter into my own hands and called Jack. I have since called four times and have gotten no response.

 

Even Matthew was becoming a bit concerned when two more weeks passed without hearing from Jack. Matthew admitted that he had tried calling Daniel; evidently, he had managed to charm both Daniel’s home and cell phone numbers out of him. He had fared no better than I.

 

*

Just about the time we had decided to climb on a plane and head for Colorado, Jack simply walks through our door early one morning. His face is a picture of misery; he looks like he has aged ten years in the months since I have seen him. “Oh, honey, what’s wrong?” I fling myself at him, pulling him into my arms.

 

“Hi, Mom.” His voice is low, unemotional.

 

I cling to him, silently begging him to tell me what’s hurting him. He’s been to the cabin, I realize, he’s got on what he laughingly calls his ‘Minnesota clothes’. He doesn’t offer anything, just lets me fuss over him, lead him to a chair, pour him some coffee. I’m glad Matthew has gone to meet some of his buddies for breakfast, gives me some time to talk to Jack.

 

Finally, I gather my courage and inquire about Daniel. His eyes simply ice over, chilling me with their intensity. “Why do you care? You hate Daniel.”

 

“I don’t hate Daniel. I just don’t think he’s what you need.”

 

“Must make you feel pretty good to know you were right all along.”

 

I’m stunned. “I don’t know what you mean, honey.”

 

His eyes are completely without warmth. “Daniel left me.”

 

I can’t take it in. I remember him sitting in that hospital waiting room, telling me in no uncertain terms he wouldn’t give Jack up. I remember the fierceness in his eyes, the fight he promised me. “I don’t believe it.” I tell him flatly.

 

“Well, it’s true. I don’t know why you’re so shocked, it’s what you wanted, isn’t it? You ought to open that bottle of champagne you’ve got stashed away. You got your wish. Daniel is gone. You ought to be celebrating.” I’d rather he shouted at me than spear me with those lifeless eyes.

 

And the truth is, I did want this, I did wish that Daniel was out of Jack’s life. So why don’t I feel like celebrating? Why can’t I tell Jack that he’s better off without Daniel, that he’ll come to see it’s for the best? 

 

Because I see the utter pain in my son’s face and that tells me that he is simply devastated. “Sit down, honey, and tell me what happened.”

 

“I guess he thought it over and agreed with you. That there was something else better out there, better than me.”

 

“How could he do this to you?” I blurt out before I can think.

 

Jack charges to his feet, his chair hitting the floor behind him with a crash. “Don’t blame Daniel for this! I gave him nothing, no reason to stay. I just kept hurting him, over and over, chipping away at who he was until he had no choice but to leave. And when it came right down to it, I couldn’t even tell him I loved him, I just let him walk away. It’s my fault he left. Why wouldn’t he want to leave, when something better came along?”

 

I’m aghast. “He left you for someone else?” This I simply cannot believe, cannot take in.

 

Jack turns away from me. “I can’t. I can’t talk about Daniel anymore. Just drop it, okay? This was a mistake, I shouldn’t have come.”

I charge up, grab him as he heads for the door. “No, honey, I’m glad you’re here. I won’t bring it up again, I promise. Why don’t you lie down, get some rest? Your father will be home soon and you can’t leave without seeing him. He’d never forgive you.”

 

As soon as I get Jack settled, I dash for the phone and call Matthew, demand that he come home immediately. 

*

 

“I don’t believe it,” Matthew replies emphatically. “There’s not a mean bone in that boy. I won’t believe it.”

 

“Well, it’s true,” I hiss. “Daniel left him for someone else. Oh, Jack said it was his fault, that he drove Daniel away, but that’s not like Jack.”

 

“Margaret, that’s exactly like Jack. Stupid boy,” Matthew sighs softly. “Hope this isn’t beyond fixing.”

 

“Fixing? You talk like you want Daniel to come back.”

 

“I do. And if you had any sense, you would too.” He rises. “I’m going to check on him, see if I can talk some sense into that hard head of his.”

*

 

Matthew persuades Jack to bundle up and take a walk. I bite my tongue, wanting to go with them, but knowing that Jack will talk to his father when he won’t talk to me. I putter around the house while they’re gone, dying of curiosity. When I hear the front door open, I stop myself from rushing to check on them, stay in the kitchen pouring coffee.

 

Jack walks over and kisses me on the cheek. “Darling, you’re frozen. Have some coffee, warm yourself up.”

 

“Thanks, Mom.” I glance behind him at Matthew who shakes his head.

 

We spend the next hour sitting in the kitchen, swapping gossip and avoiding the one subject everyone wants to talk about.

 

“I’ll be heading back to Colorado in the morning.”

 

“Oh, Jack, must you? You just got here.”

 

“Have to, Mom. I have to be there on Monday. We’re interviewing for...” He stops cold. “I have to be there.”

*

 

I leap on Matthew as soon as Jack’s truck pulls away. “What happened?”

 

“I didn’t get much out of him. He just said he and Daniel had gone through some tough times. He’d done some things Daniel didn’t like, didn’t agree with.”

 

“Daniel didn’t just leave Jack? He left the Air Force?” I find that almost as hard to believe.

 

“Seems like.”

 

“Something awful must have happened, Matthew. Daniel doesn’t strike me as the walking away type.” I hate to admit it, but I admired Daniel for finally standing up to me, which means whatever happened to make him leave must have been simply terrible.

 

“Me neither. But that was as much as I got out of Jack. Lucky I got that much, I suppose.”

*

 

Jack seems much better during this visit. He doesn’t appear to be grieving now; I have no other word to describe this past year. Matthew and I know enough not to mention Daniel’s name. When Jack was here at Christmas, when I thoughtlessly asked if he’d heard from Daniel, Jack left the room without a word. I didn’t try that again.

 

I know Jack has counted every day of this past year and missed Daniel although he never admitted it. It’s a lot like that old story about the elephant in the room that no one mentions. We all pretend as if Daniel were never a part of Jack’s life. 

When we visited Colorado, there was not a single trace of Daniel anywhere in Jack’s house. Any picture that included Daniel was gone. The books that used to grace every surface are gone. 

 

It is as if Daniel never existed anywhere in Jack’s life.

 

*  
Matthew decides we need to call Jack, one day out of the blue. Just need, he tells me, to check on him. So I dial the phone, only to hear it ring and ring. I almost hang up, decide Jack’s not home.

 

Finally someone answers the phone. Someone who is not Jack. I know I’m stuttering. “Daniel? Is that you?”

 

“Yes,” I hear him answer softly. “This is Daniel.” A long pause, then a curious question. “Who is this, please?”

 

I know it’s been awhile since he heard my voice and he’s probably still pissed at me, but I mean, really! “Daniel, it’s me, Margaret.”

 

I hear a buzz of words, then, “Mom, sorry about that. I told Daniel to grab the phone, I was in the kitchen.”

 

“Jack, I know Daniel has every reason to still be mad at me, but that was incredibly rude.”

 

I hear him tell Daniel he’s going outside for a minute. “Mom, I can’t really explain it all to you. But, Daniel was involved in a…an accident. His memory isn’t quite all there yet.”

 

“My God, what happened, Jack?” I motion for Matthew to pick up the extension. 

 

“Mom, you know I can’t discuss it. All I can tell you is that he was hurt and he’s still recovering.”

 

“How bad was it, son?” Matthew chimes in.

 

We both hear the long pause. “He nearly died, Dad. Fortunately, he doesn’t really remember most of that.”

 

“We’re flying down, be there by morning.” Matthew decides.

 

“Thanks, Dad, I appreciate it. But it’s best if you wait, I don’t want to throw too much at Daniel at once. He’s still not too steady, still getting stuff sorted out, you know?”

 

“Jack, please give him our love. We want to come to see you, to see both of you.”

 

“Thanks, Mom, you don’t know what that means to me, to hear you say that.” This is a Jack I haven’t heard for over a year. I can hear the strain in his voice but I also hear a happiness that left him with Daniel.

 

*

I can’t believe it but I am actually looking forward to seeing Daniel again. The year without him taught me a hard lesson. That Jack’s life is just that, his and not mine. I had no right to try to force him to live by my beliefs. That was unbelievably arrogant. 

 

I’m not a big believer in this balance-in-the-universe stuff or the ripples in the pond theory. But I do wonder about some of the little oddities of life. I wished and prayed that Daniel would cease to be a part of Jack’s life and then I got my wish. 

 

I have to wonder if I didn’t contribute to this, if my animosity toward Daniel didn’t wear on Jack, that he didn’t start turning on Daniel because of me.

 

And then I have spent the better part of this past year wishing and praying that I could just see Jack be happy again. And if that includes Daniel, I hope I’m adult enough to figure that having to put up with him is about what I deserve. As Matthew pointed out so very long ago, Jack could, in fact, do so much worse.

 

I may never accept the fact that my son’s lover is another man, but I don’t want to lose Jack again. I firmly believe that if Daniel had died, Jack would have, too.

*

Jack picks us up at the airport, shrugging when Matthew asks, saying that Daniel still doesn’t like crowds. He waits until we get in the car to tell us that Daniel still hasn’t gotten all of his memories back and may never.

 

“Is that your subtle way of telling us that he doesn’t remember us?”

 

Jack grimaces. “Yeah, Mom, but don’t take it personally. There are still some folks at work who he doesn’t remember. The docs think he’s retrieved as much of his memory as he probably ever will. Just take it easy on him, okay? Don’t crowd him, he still isn’t keen on sharing his personal space.”

 

*

“Daniel!” Jack hollers as soon as he opens the door.

 

“You don’t have to shout, Jack. I’m right here.” Daniel comes out of the dining room with a reassuring smile for Jack.

 

“Sorry, bad habit. Daniel, my parents, Matthew and Margaret O’Neill.”

 

He steps forward with a guarded expression. “I’m sorry. Jack says I knew you before, but I....”

 

Matthew goes right for Daniel, completely disregarding Jack’s advice and grabs him, holding him tightly. “Good to see you, boy. Missed you.” I notice that Daniel hesitates briefly, but then just goes with it, relaxes, lets Matthew hold him although he doesn't return the hug. I lean over and kiss his cheek while he’s still a prisoner.

 

“Yes, Daniel, it is good to see you again.” 

*

Someone calls for Daniel and he takes the phone out on the back deck. I take the opportunity to press Jack for details of the accident. He gives us what I am sure is the pared down version, that Daniel was visiting a friend in a lab when an experiment failed, killing three scientists outright and Daniel was seriously injured trying to prevent an even worse disaster. “He saved a lot of lives and lost…damn near lost his life in the process.” 

 

“Poor Daniel!” I’m horrified by what Daniel had to endure by himself, for this all happened right around the time that he and Jack broke up. “So what happened?”

 

“When I least expected it, I just turned around one day and there he was. Bigger than life,” Jack whispers with a bit of a smile. “He didn’t remember me, walked by me like he didn’t even know me. But I kept at him until it started coming back to him. I knew it was going to be okay when he looked right at me and called me ‘Jim’.”

 

We both shake our heads as Matthew wanders out onto the deck, just, he assures us, checking on Daniel, making sure he’s alright. I foresee an awful lot of hovering by Matthew on this trip. I just hope Daniel is up to it, that it doesn’t unnerve him.

 

Confession, as they say, is good for the soul. And I have one to make. “Jack, did Daniel ever tell you what we talked about the night your father was injured?”

 

He shook his head. “Daniel is notoriously close-mouthed at the best of times. He said very little about it, come to think of it.”

 

“And now he doesn’t remember it. I could go on like nothing ever happened, Jack. But I can’t. I...I accused Daniel of breaking up your marriage, of cheating on his wife, with you.”

 

“Goddammit, Mom,” he roars, “when are you gonna learn to shut up?”

 

“You’re angry, Jack, and you have every reason to be. And so did Daniel.”

 

“I hope he let you have it good, Mom.”

 

“Actually, I got the impression he was holding back. Because of you, I suppose. And so now, I need forgiveness from Daniel and I find that I can’t get it because he doesn’t even know what I did to him. That’s my burden, Jack, and I have to live with it. But I would like to apologize to Daniel; I at least need to try.”

 

“I think you’ll find Daniel can forgive just about anything. After all, he puts up with me, doesn’t he?”

*

 

Since I’d just prefer to get it over with, I leave Jack to seek out Daniel. He and Matthew are on the deck, deep in conversation about who knows what. I run Matthew off and take the chair he vacates. “Daniel, I need to talk to you.”

 

“Okay.” It’s clear he’s confused.

 

“When you and Jack first got together, I had trouble accepting the relationship. And because of that, I said things to you, for no other reason than I could and I knew it would hurt you.”

 

“I don’t remember,” he reminds me gently.

“I know you don’t, but I do. I want to apologize for hurting you. It was small-minded of me to accuse you like I did, to blame you for things that happened.”

 

“Did I do something wrong?” He seems genuinely concerned.

 

“No, Daniel, all you did was love Jack and I wasn’t happy about that. I know you don’t know what I said and probably never will but I do. And I have to set it right.”

 

“Karma.” He beams at me in understanding.

 

“Yes, Karma. That’s a very good explanation. So I hope you can forgive me?”

 

“Of course, I do. You’re Jack’s mother. You’re important to him.”

 

“And so are you. How are you doing, dear? Really?”

 

“Some things are so clear, like they just happened yesterday, you know? And then some are like a...a badly faded watercolor painting, the basic shape is there but there’s no color, no detail. The doctors think I probably won’t get anymore of my memories back.”

 

“You didn’t remember Jack?”

 

“I didn’t even remember me. My past was just page upon page of blank spaces. The first memory of Jack was him yelling at me.” We share a rueful smile. “And a strange desire to agitate the living hell out of him.”

 

“Sounds like fun.”

*

I’m so glad we made the trip to Colorado, and I’m relieved I spoke to Daniel, asked for his forgiveness. Unburdening yourself is cleansing.

 

Daniel is different. He seems calmer, more grounded, more comfortable with himself. I don’t see the man who chased Cassie through the yard so long ago. Or not even the man who let me walk all over him. 

I have to admit, I don’t really miss that man. I suspect if you pushed this version of Daniel, he’d push back immediately, not stand back and try to analyze the why’s and how’s.

 

Jack is more settled, more at peace with himself, finally happy again. I hope I’m mature enough to acknowledge that if he’s a better man, a changed man, it’s all because of Daniel


End file.
